Reflecting without a shield

As one of my choices for the final project I had to do for my advisory class, writing a four paragraph paper was the shortest, so it seemed to be the obvious choice. To follow up as an example of how much more open I am, I decided to post my paper on my blog but remember, its not your fault if you hate it. You were born that way.

I forgive you.

By the way, the Title of this post is a reference to this.

Simply, we were supposed to write four paragraphs about how our life has changed since we came to this school, Walnut Creek Campus, and how we think it has changed our lives.

General attitude, parental happiness, Little Caesars, old friends, new friends, better school, less homework. Many things have been added, although you can’t really add less homework, to my life since I started coming to Walnut Creek. Originally, I did not want to come here. It wasn’t the school itself that unnerved me, but the simple fact of changing my lifestyle. Even knowing how well this school has worked for me, If given the chance to come here sooner, I still would not have wanted to. Change has always been difficult for me, even regarding things that I knew would be better. When in an uncomfortable situation, I tend to stick to where I am, even if I could easily make it more comfortable. When I first went to Valley, and I knew that I did not have anyone to sit with at that time, I would stand on the side rather than sit at an empty table, If that table were to end up “belonging” to a group of people, it would make me feel bad for being there. So to prevent myself from making that decision, I would stick with what I know till an external force would act to change that. In the weeks to come, I would quickly be asked to sit be people I knew. From then on I would sit in that exact spot each and every day that I had lunch with them, even if no one else was there. It has always been simpler for me to just take things as they are. But at WCC that can prove to be a bit more challenging.

Through the year it would be hard to say that I could have gotten through things without talking to anyone about them. Talking to David in math has been, “frustrating”, at times, but I know it is because of the way I assume things. I don’t like to assume, I would prefer to never have to, but it kind of unconsciously ends up that way. I know he just wants me to learn, but there are sometimes I wish he could give me a straight answer. But that would be too easy. And nothing in life is too easy without a consequence lying behind it. I know David teaches in a way that makes the student teach themselves, but If he gave me an answer I could work out how it got to that. Even though I already knew most of the stuff that was covered in my Building on your strengths class, it still was fun to work out the non obvious answers to simple problems. There is always more than one answer to a problem, unless its math. Math just gets to be unique like that.

I’ve easily found that the easiest way to get to know someone is through their stomach. Food and me have always had a good relationship, not through my own interest in the food, but through the fact that everyone else loves food more than me. From making cookies, to buying pizza and bringing it to school where everyone got to watch me eat pizza while they worked. I get to know people better and they learn that I am someone that they may want to be around, or at least recognized as a “HEY KOOL-AID!” type of person. The person that will usually have something with them that you want, and can just call on them for. Last year at Valley, I made cookies to represent something specific for science as part of a project. But I had the idea to make cookies the next week and bring them so school and see what happens. Everyone wanted them. I find it easier to do things that make others happy than to do things that make me happy. Plus, making others happy, makes me happy. I think I can learn to live with that. Actually, I guess that means that it takes the same effort to make myself happy than to make someone else happy. Even people I didn’t know would notice and ask if they could have some. Whereas on the other side of that, if someone else brought food in, and I didn’t know them, asking them for it would never happen. I wouldn’t want to intrude on their breakfast/lunch/mid lunch/snack/feast or what have you.

A coagulation of what that wall of text can be summarized into would be simply: “Being at Walnut Creek Campus has made me more comfortable in social situations”. I would tend to think that that would be a big improvement and something my parents and teachers have wanted me to do. I’ve never had that part of me that just says, I WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH SOMEONE. I’ve always been content with where I am at the time. But being together with less new, because older makes it sound like their age is older, friends has made me do somethings that I normally wouldn’t have done.

Also, CJ’s classes were great, so were Lynn’s, Tony’s, Ted’s, David’s, and Shantel’s(spelling) even if I didn’t have her for a class except DnD club.

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